Confused emotions; excitement, trepidation, guilt, love, inexplicable happiness;

I was finding it hard to breathe. I couldn’t tell anyone what I was going through – not even to the person who was the reason behind all conflicts. I stared again at the phone – willing it to ring , scared that it would. Why had I given him the number? How would his voice be? What should I say? Would he like my voice?

We talked; long into the night – every night. Sleep forgotten; people who had been important once wiped out from the mind. He filled my soul, my heart – with his voice, his words, his love. Whispers of dreams, proclamations of love; he took me to his world – the place where he was born, where he ached to go back to – didn’t know mere words could paint such beautiful pictures. He talked of the river, the rain, the beach. I gave him my love; my heart; my soul; my secrets; my grief; my sin; my shame. He enveloped all that and loved me more.

I forgot that he belonged to another; he had his responsibilities and I mine. I forgot all of that. He might have remembered but still he loved. He was strong and I weak. He was pure and I … I made him mine – maybe through some black magic – no, the magic of love. Love – the only thing I could give. I gave it fully; with a kind of desperation; didn’t know how else to give it. He took it, drank it down like one who has been thirsty for years – did my love scorch him? His did. It made a mark; it was a purification process.

Ten nights: where I discovered myself; ten nights: where his voice gifted me heaven. I slept dreaming the dreams he had woven around me. Wish time could go in a loop where I am living those nights again and again.

Life is about believing in magic; cherishing moments; dreaming; weaving magic through one’s imagination; being nostalgic about beautiful moments; looking at the moon and sighing dreamily. This is my tribute to the one who reminded me of what life is; who showed me the magic that I craved for all through my life. This blog is to you, my love – you, who made me laugh; cry; you gave me back my childhood; you made me a woman.

I will dream of more nights where you will take me to the place that you talked most about; when we will sit by the riverside and watch the moon’s reflection falling on the ripples – it should be a full moon day. Maybe it would rain then; the smell of wet earth – for me that is the most beautiful smell in this world; you like that smell don’t you? I will dream of you making love to me at that moment; other smells mingling with the smell of wet sand; salty rain drops on my face;

Dreams don’t cost anything; and I dream; will dream till my last breath.

The title is Beginning – beginning of life; beginning of love; so should there be an end? I don’t know. Each moment with him is a beginning; a revelation; maybe there is no end.